I am a university student and live away from home. Going to uni was such a vast change it exasperated my IBS terribly. I am now halfway through my second year and have developed some coping techniques to help me get through my days at uni - although I still regularly have to miss lectures and tutorials.
Normally, visits home would be a great relief. I could sit at home and even sometimes not take my medication as my symptoms would have practically gone. So I was looking forward to reading week (a week free of classes but full of essays and, obviously, reading) but now it's here things are not great at all. The first night I was back I planned a reunion night out to a club with the girls and my symptoms nearly left me house bound. My only way to leave the house was to take loads of my pills, something that doesn't make me proud. I then spent the night at the club making frequent trips 'to the bar' - my not so subtle way to go to the toilet on my own. The only solace I can take from this evening is that I managed to stay out all night in spite of my symptoms.
Day three came and I was going to head to a shopping centre with my mum. Shopping centres don't usually bother me as there is always a toilet within a few minutes walk. Also the fact I was with my mum meant I wouldn't be worrying about getting embarrassed if I had to make several toilet trips within an hour. Yet still when we were at the shopping centre I had terrible diarrhoea and once had to spend a good 20 minutes in the cubicle while my mum waited for me.
What made things even worse was when I was supposed to be staying at home, just looking after my cute little puppy, I again had terrible symptoms. Why? I didn't have to leave the house, I wasn't far from a toilet and I wasn't doing anything stressful.
I can normally work out what is is that is stressing me out and aggravating my anxiety, but this week I'm stumped. I have no clue what is giving me these awful symptoms. My diet has been pretty good recently too, I haven't been tempted by the foods which give me bad symptoms. So how come this is happening?
Sometimes I wish I had a different illness that at least gave predictable symptoms, so I would know what to expect each day. I also wish I hadn't come home this week. Although I get to see my family and puppy, I also feel huge disappointment and worry that my symptoms will always be this bad at home. Hopefully this is a one off and not permanent, I don't want my home to be one of the places that can make my symptoms spiral.
Wednesday 9 November 2011
Wednesday 26 October 2011
Understanding IBS
I don't know if in the blogging world it's unheard of to post two blogs in one day, but I feel this post is necessary to explain exactly what is and what isn't IBS.
IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) is a medical condition which affects the digestive system and can develop at any point in someone's life. I developed mine when I was 16 year old. IBS has no direct cause and therefore cannot be cured but the symptoms are often triggered by stress, anxiety and diet. Symptoms vary from person to person but the most common two symptoms are diarrhoea and constipation. I suffer from the first. When a person is put in a situation they find stressful, such as an exam, job interview, they will experience these symptoms. Personally, my IBS is so severe that I can stressed in situations which other people don't even think about, such as waiting for a bus or sitting in the middle of the aisle at the theatre or the cinema. Obviously I am not a doctor so if you are worried about your health you should go to a medical professional, these are just my experiences of the illness.
Many people don't understand IBS and don't think it's a big deal. If you take a day of work, or turn up late to something some people will assume you're using your IBS as an excuse or making things sound worse than they are really. To anyone who thinks that I only have one thing to say. If you were to eat some meat or dairy that was out of date and woke up with blinding pains in your stomach and diarrhoea so bad you're scared to leave the house or be more than a few metres from the toilet you would label those sensations 'food poisoning.' Everyone is bound to at some point contract food poisoning and so people know it is a horrible experience to endure. If you phoned your work and say you had terrible food poisoning and asked for the day off you would get it off with no questions asked. People would sympathise and ask you the next day compassionately how you were. You, as well, wouldn't feel guilty about the fact you needed the day off as you were genuinely ill and had these terrible symptoms. What I have to say to this is: living with IBS is like having severe food poisoning every day of your life. I don't want to leave the house some mornings and want to no more than a few feet away from the toilet. I have to go to the toilet three times within ten minutes to pass painful diarrhoea. I want to phone into work or email my tutor and say I'm terribly ill and won't be coming in today, but I can't. If every time I experienced these symptoms I shut myself away in the house I would never go outdoors. Anyone who cannot understand how debilitating and upsetting IBS can be is an obnoxious and ignorant excuse for a human being. Empathise with your fellow man and understand how they experience life.
This may make IBS sound like the most awful illness ever, and truthfully, yes, it can be terrible. The triumphs you experience will be overcoming your IBS and being able to get on with life in spite of it. Find coping strategies and distractions to help you through the day. Don't feel ashamed if one day your symptoms truly are so bad you can't leave the house - the person with food poisoning doesn't. Feel proud every single day you manage to leave the house even though your bowels are acting up. The most important thing to remember is that you can't let IBS rule and ruin your life.
IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) is a medical condition which affects the digestive system and can develop at any point in someone's life. I developed mine when I was 16 year old. IBS has no direct cause and therefore cannot be cured but the symptoms are often triggered by stress, anxiety and diet. Symptoms vary from person to person but the most common two symptoms are diarrhoea and constipation. I suffer from the first. When a person is put in a situation they find stressful, such as an exam, job interview, they will experience these symptoms. Personally, my IBS is so severe that I can stressed in situations which other people don't even think about, such as waiting for a bus or sitting in the middle of the aisle at the theatre or the cinema. Obviously I am not a doctor so if you are worried about your health you should go to a medical professional, these are just my experiences of the illness.
Many people don't understand IBS and don't think it's a big deal. If you take a day of work, or turn up late to something some people will assume you're using your IBS as an excuse or making things sound worse than they are really. To anyone who thinks that I only have one thing to say. If you were to eat some meat or dairy that was out of date and woke up with blinding pains in your stomach and diarrhoea so bad you're scared to leave the house or be more than a few metres from the toilet you would label those sensations 'food poisoning.' Everyone is bound to at some point contract food poisoning and so people know it is a horrible experience to endure. If you phoned your work and say you had terrible food poisoning and asked for the day off you would get it off with no questions asked. People would sympathise and ask you the next day compassionately how you were. You, as well, wouldn't feel guilty about the fact you needed the day off as you were genuinely ill and had these terrible symptoms. What I have to say to this is: living with IBS is like having severe food poisoning every day of your life. I don't want to leave the house some mornings and want to no more than a few feet away from the toilet. I have to go to the toilet three times within ten minutes to pass painful diarrhoea. I want to phone into work or email my tutor and say I'm terribly ill and won't be coming in today, but I can't. If every time I experienced these symptoms I shut myself away in the house I would never go outdoors. Anyone who cannot understand how debilitating and upsetting IBS can be is an obnoxious and ignorant excuse for a human being. Empathise with your fellow man and understand how they experience life.
This may make IBS sound like the most awful illness ever, and truthfully, yes, it can be terrible. The triumphs you experience will be overcoming your IBS and being able to get on with life in spite of it. Find coping strategies and distractions to help you through the day. Don't feel ashamed if one day your symptoms truly are so bad you can't leave the house - the person with food poisoning doesn't. Feel proud every single day you manage to leave the house even though your bowels are acting up. The most important thing to remember is that you can't let IBS rule and ruin your life.
Desperate to Despair
I'm 10 minutes away from home and there are no toilets in sight. It doesn't sound like very long but when you are desperate for the toilet it can seem an age. The realisation that there is no toilet for me to use only makes the desire to go stronger. The only thing I can do is walk home as fast as I can and pray that I don't shit my pants.
'Shit my pants' may seem a fairly uncouth and blunt phrase to use, perhaps 'lose control of my bowels' would have been more appropriate, but I want to address the issue frankly and, let's face it, that was the phrase playing over and over in my head, not the latter.
Anyway, I begin marching home at lightning speed, I considered paying for a taxi but being a student renders this option void. I clench my bum cheeks hoping that this will help in some way. I must have looked like some kind of injured penguin as I developed a semi-waddle from flexing peculiar muscle groups. My stomach starts growling and I fear it will push out something nasty. I don't want to soil myself, but I begin to feel it's one realistic outcome of the situation.
Eventually the door of my house is in sight. The sensation to go peaks and feels imminent. 'Not now, not when I'm so close.' I clench my bum cheeks tighter still and think 'the second I get through the door I'll dump my bag and go to the toilet.' The key goes in the lock, turns, and the door swings open. I go into my house and dump my bag, but do I go to the toilet? No. I turn on my laptop and the TV and walk away to give them time to load. I walk calmly upstairs, undress and put on pyjamas and dressing-gown. Five minutes pass before I go to the bathroom. I sit down to do my business and very little comes out. I am baffled. How can in less than ten minutes can I go from feeling like I'm about to shit myself to there not even really being a point in using the toilet? Cue frustration setting in.
I assume that I am not alone in this experience. Surely other IBS sufferers go through similar things? Knowing this is still no consolation though. I still get frustrated when it happens. This all happened today and inspired me to begin writing this blog. I thought if I put things down on cyber paper it would help me to explore my IBS and see it for what it really is. Possibly someone else with IBS might even read this and feel less alone? I don't know, all I'm sure of is that sometimes my digestive system can be a pain in the ass (no pun intended).
'Shit my pants' may seem a fairly uncouth and blunt phrase to use, perhaps 'lose control of my bowels' would have been more appropriate, but I want to address the issue frankly and, let's face it, that was the phrase playing over and over in my head, not the latter.
Anyway, I begin marching home at lightning speed, I considered paying for a taxi but being a student renders this option void. I clench my bum cheeks hoping that this will help in some way. I must have looked like some kind of injured penguin as I developed a semi-waddle from flexing peculiar muscle groups. My stomach starts growling and I fear it will push out something nasty. I don't want to soil myself, but I begin to feel it's one realistic outcome of the situation.
Eventually the door of my house is in sight. The sensation to go peaks and feels imminent. 'Not now, not when I'm so close.' I clench my bum cheeks tighter still and think 'the second I get through the door I'll dump my bag and go to the toilet.' The key goes in the lock, turns, and the door swings open. I go into my house and dump my bag, but do I go to the toilet? No. I turn on my laptop and the TV and walk away to give them time to load. I walk calmly upstairs, undress and put on pyjamas and dressing-gown. Five minutes pass before I go to the bathroom. I sit down to do my business and very little comes out. I am baffled. How can in less than ten minutes can I go from feeling like I'm about to shit myself to there not even really being a point in using the toilet? Cue frustration setting in.
I assume that I am not alone in this experience. Surely other IBS sufferers go through similar things? Knowing this is still no consolation though. I still get frustrated when it happens. This all happened today and inspired me to begin writing this blog. I thought if I put things down on cyber paper it would help me to explore my IBS and see it for what it really is. Possibly someone else with IBS might even read this and feel less alone? I don't know, all I'm sure of is that sometimes my digestive system can be a pain in the ass (no pun intended).
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